What prompts you to make the decisions you make? When confronted with a decision, whether one that is more trivial and mundane or one that is more significant and profound, we rely on guidance. That guidance can be the result of impulse and passion or the fruit of the interior voice of conscience. Decisions made on impulse and passion can be misguided and erroneous. Decisions based on conscience, or the moral voice within, will reflect the depth and maturity of our soul work. A more contemplative soul will make more contemplative decisions. A less developed conscience will make decisions based on the individual’s level of development.

Conversion and a change of heart are at the core of Jesus’ message precisely because of this reality. We are works in progress. For the person on fire with the Holy Spirit and centered on God, life reflects an ever-deepening awareness and heightened sense of God’s presence and a greater willingness to do God’s will. What is happening internally is validated by what is witnessed externally. The hypocrite is the one who says yes when they really mean no. From the start, they had no desire to do the virtuous act but wanted to outwardly appear as if they did.

Where are you on the road of integrity? Honesty is all that is required. God is good with that. It is okay to struggle with our decisions and wrestle with ourselves. Consciences on the path to maturity and greater depth are not always going to know what action is immediately best. We may, at first, say no to what we know is right and, after prayerful reflection and thought, come around to doing it. Conversion happens when our no changes to yes, regardless of how sinful or out of sync we may be at the time. God is anxious to welcome us to Himself. But we cannot embrace Him unless we want to. Learning to orient our gift of free will to what is of divine origin, right, and best is a discipline we must always tweak and perfect.

©LPi
 

If I work for five hours, I expect to get paid for five hours. If I work for two, I expect to get paid for two. What if we worked for a company that paid everyone the same amount regardless of how long they worked? How would we feel going home with the same pay for working eight hours as my co-worker did for working only two hours? Secular wisdom would have a huge problem with this and a visit to the Labor Board would quickly pursue. But this is God’s wisdom and God’s ways.

We sometimes think that if we pray more, better, or more fervently and go over and above with the practice of our faith, God will somehow reward us and present us with some kind of merit badge. We are so wrong. Spiritual practices have only one true purpose: to deepen our love for God. In deepening our love for God, we also increase our ability to see God’s presence around us, living life more purposefully and contemplatively. What if God chooses to treat someone who has come on the scene of faith later in life the same as someone who has devoted their whole lives to it? Does it really matter? If we have the merit badge notion of faith, we can find ourselves feeling a little arrogant and even jealous of folks who have not followed the same path that we have. We can even see ourselves as the privileged few who have a corner on the faith and fully possess it.

That thinking doesn’t square with God. God is all about mercy in abundance and is ready to take anyone to himself regardless of when they come. He is only happy that they have come home and delights in their return. After all, if you really and truly love someone, does it matter what they will give you in return or what you receive as a benefit? If relationships were assessed based upon productivity, they would lack authentic love. We invest too much self interest in our prayer and neglect to see it as an opportunity to pursue our Lover and deepen the intimate bond we have with God.

When we breathe our last, all that is of consequence is union with God. If my love for God is real, I am going to want to live the Gospel, abide by the commandments, practice my faith, forgive and love my neighbor, and care for the environment, regardless of how much time it takes or benefits me. We want God to think and behave as we do, and in doing so, we set ourselves up for disappointment. God has a totally different agenda and that’s okay.

©LPi
 

What right do we have to limit the amount and degree of forgiveness we show to others when we are so desperately in need of it ourselves? In not wanting someone who hurt us to downplay or forget the gravity of their wrong, we cling to anger, resentment, and wrath as a way of maintaining control. It is a way to acknowledge and express our deep hurt. We fail to realize that in doing so we hold ourselves hostage to these destructive feelings and actually become mired in the bondage of sin. All we gain is further alienation from ourselves, others, and especially God. We are no longer free but tethered to all of this unresolved negativity. Don’t we really want to let it go? The fact is that we need to.

A good self-reflective posture will quickly show us that when the shoe is on the other foot and we are the ones in need of forgiveness, we desire it above anything else. This is especially true with our relationship with God. It is hypocritical to want one thing for ourselves and something else for another. Yet, many act in precisely this way.

Perhaps we think that in offering forgiveness, even for the most grievous of wrongs, somehow excuses the person of their wrong and makes it almost acceptable. This is what makes revenge, retaliation, and punishment so attractive. We see forgiveness as being an eraser that easily wipes away the offense without consequence. Or, we may believe that in offering forgiveness I must somehow forget the wrong and open myself as a victim of even greater possible hurts in the future. In fact, forgiving my sister or brother of their wrongful actions or attitudes involves none of this. It does not erase anything or position me vulnerably as a doormat to be walked on.

Forgiveness is an act of freedom that restores honest dialogue, shares true, and heartfelt feelings and acknowledges the consequences of an action. It admits that the wrong has caused a hurt that must be healed and squarely positions responsibility on the offender. The act of forgiveness recognizes our sinfulness and brokenness. It also admits that the most saintly among us is capable of doing very grave and deep harm to another person. It sees that we all can be victims of our passions and works in progress that deserve unlimited chances to get it right. With forgiveness, I release myself from the bonds of negativity and pursue a path of restoration, wholeness, and healing. I do not forget the wrong nor do I dismiss it. Sometimes, we have to stay far away from the one who hurt us. But we can still heal internally and be free.

For the one who wants to be forgiven and the one who needs offer forgiveness, the journey can be an adventure in learning what brought us to this place and what is needed to move forward. This is exactly how God treats us. Why would we not want to do the same for others?

©LPi

It’s all about reconciliation and conversion, not punishment. Relationships are not static adventures but wonderful gifts that continue to develop, grow, change, and mature. We are meant to be social beings, so isolating ourselves from others is rarely helpful. But, because human beings are on the one hand tremendously gifted, talented, and blessed creations, they are on the other also flawed, broken, and sinful. We all need to humbly admit that we are works in progress and not only capable of enriching each other’s lives but causing deep hurts and wounds as well. Hence, we always need to be reconciled. We are always growing, changing, and expanding our knowledge of who we are and how we are meant to share life together.

Because reconciliation and conversion are always part of the mix of life, honesty is crucial. Without honesty, we can easily find ourselves living a lie and causing more harm than good. Being able to freely share our feelings, especially those involving pain and hurt, is a charism necessary to pursue and an art to learn. When we are wronged or wrong someone else, we do not enjoy the confrontation that can and needs to come. We are taught to keep our feelings to ourselves, especially when they are negative, and we tend to avoid difficult conversations. Hence, we never really learn how to confront another, successfully resolve conflict, find reconciliation, and welcome conversion. When we hurt or wrong someone, it does not mean that we are a bad or sinful person who deserves only punishment and excommunication. Quite the opposite! We are simply a human person who can make poor choices and sin and can be forgiven. We can restore and deepen the relationship that has been affected and find our way home again.

Jesus clearly wants to avoid shame because it has no purpose in achieving reconciliation and conversion. All broken relationships deserve a chance at reconciliation. Every person has room for growth and a need for conversion. We have to learn to be okay with honesty and not be afraid to hear and process what someone needs to say, even if it is difficult for us to hear. Severing a relationship, both personally or with the church community as a whole, ought to definitely be a last resort and only pursued when all else has failed.

©LPi